Why Can’t I Stop Thinking of Cock

No matter what I’m doing I’m thinking about it. If I’m at work, at home or driving from one to the other, it’s what’s on my mind. Is this normal? Is this how all guys feel? Am I that different from my friends? I don’t know, because I’m too afraid to ask and find out how weird I really am. See, I’m obsessed with sucking cock. I dreamed about it. I woke up sweating with my cock throbbing. I could almost taste it in my mouth. You might be asking yourself, “Why is this a problem?” It’s a problem because I’m a straight man. I think….

One Time At College

I had an experience with one of my frat brothers when I was in college. We were both very drunk one night and ended up in the same bed. At some point in the quite of the night, we started messing around. One thing led to another and we sucked each other’s cock that night. I hadn’t ever thought about being gay or anything that way until that night. Since then, I have been obsessed with reliving the experience.

I’ve been thinking about cock for a long time, and all the while, I have been having really good relationships and good sex with beautiful women. I dated women all through college as well as surfed the web for the best looking guys with the biggest cocks. I don’t think of myself as bisexual because while I love to have intimate, ongoing relationships with women, I don’t want that with men. I just want to suck cock, get off and leave. I didn’t care to know the guy’s name or even see his face if I could avoid it.

I’m Straight or Maybe Not

I don’t quite know how to label my sexuality. All I know is this is me and how I am. After years of wondering and fantasizing, I decided to do something about it. I have had a really good life so far. I have a gorgeous wife, great job as a software designer and a nice house. I have achieved everything I’ve ever set out to do. But I feel I need to do this because if I don’t, it’s going to drive me crazy.

I do worry, though, that there is too much to lose. My wife is a tall, beautiful blond with big brown eyes. She has her own career and would not hesitate to divorce me if she caught me cheating with a woman. I don’t know how she would react to finding me with a cock in my mouth. I love her very much and don’t want to risk losing her.

But these thoughts and dreams of cock sucking are making me nuts. I have no idea what to do about them. I sit at work and imagine what it would be like to just meet some guy somewhere for an hour or two. Maybe meet someone in a public place and go somewhere private.

I Only Get Off  While Thinking of Cock

My fantasies are so hot and intense and usually only stop when I jack off in the bathroom, and even then they don’t go away for long. But my favorite fantasy is one where I meet a guy on a train and go back to his private car. We pull the shades and there’s nothing but clothes between us.

There is just something about the idea of a stranger on a train with the speed of the movement and the sound of the tracks. I can see the grey covers of the bench seats as he reclines, his clothes off, his cock hard. It’s such a hot picture in my mind. I play the whole thing out in my head when I have time. It takes a while. We switch after a while and then I’m naked on the bench and he is on his knees. I love this fantasy.

I decided after a lot of thought and online research to get in contact with a Femdom Mistress. A Femdom Mistress is someone who will quietly put me in touch with other men with the same fantasies I have. She sets up rendezvous that are safe and secret. I contacted her and she is very interested in helping me.

We set up and time to meet and she said that she would bring a friend with her that would be thrilled to meet me. I can’t believe that I am actually going to do something about all these thoughts. Maybe if I go out and act on them, I’ll be able to think about something else other thank thinking of cock for a change. I hope so. I can’t wait.