I want to start out by introducing a couple of ideas that maybe you haven’t heard of before, and then reassure you that it’s perfectly normal and natural to have curiosities and be interested in expanding your sexual repertoire. So first up, bi curious straight men absolutely exist! And it’s not an oxymoron to say that you’re interested in sucking dick but still very much straight. You’re not alone, you’re not weird, and there’s nothing at all wrong with wanting to try a little cock sucking for your wife, girlfriend, partner, or Mistress.
Bi Curious Straight Men
It is very common for people’s sexuality to shift and change over time, and for people who grew up assuming they were perfectly straight and completely ‘normal’ to wake up one day and realize that maybe they’re not so straight after all. We all change and grow over time, our tastes and interests change and morph, and we slowly evolve from our young adult idiot form into something a little more wise, kind, and smart. The person who is the same as they were in their 20’s when they hit their 30’s and 40’s is a person who has stagnated and failed to explore the world around them. So if you’ve discovered that maybe you’re not quite as ruler straight as you thought you were, that’s fine and normal!
Split Attraction Model
The Split Attraction Model arises from the wonderful folks exploring what it means to experience attraction over at the Asexual Visibility and Education Network forums! That’s right, you have the aces and aros to thank for this deeper understanding of who and what you are. Basically, think of sexual attraction and romantic attraction as two different axes of attraction. (There are more than two, because humans are complex and there’s a lot of things we might be attracted to in life.) Your sexual attraction is who or what you’d like to do, sexually. Your romantic attraction is who you want to date or spend your life with. While the majority of the population’s sexual and romantic attractions line up and match, for some people, they do not in fact line up. You may be sexually attracted to men and women, but only want to date women. Or you’re sexually aroused by men, but want to marry your female best friend! Think of all the different combinations of relationships and sexual interests, and you can see how this gets complex quickly (and yet still manages to explain So Much about relationships!)
If you’ve ever been confused about how someone might be interested in cuckold relationships, for example, the split attraction model lays it all out! A man, in a romantic relationship with a woman, sexually aroused by both male and female sexual acts, with a dash of voyeur on top! Or a bi curious straight man, dating women, but deeply fascinated by and interested in the acts of sex and sexuality with men. Mix and match bi, gay, straight, pan, demi, and other identifiers with your sexual and romantic attractions, and there you go! Perfectly normal and now you have words to describe your lived experience, too.
Are You Interested In Sucking Cock?
You may be a straight man with a bi curious streak! The way you’d describe that, using the split attraction model, is thus: Bi Sexual Questioning, Hetero Romantic. You may also tell people you’re Bi Curious, Het Romantic (or HetRo). Myself, I’m Pan Sexual Aromantic! I love sex with everyone, no matter what shape or conformation your genitals are in, but the romantic part of life isn’t for me. I’m not made for marriage is how I used to put it, and then I discovered this sort of language and framing, and it all made sense! I’m Aro! What a relief to discover that I’m normal, there are people like me out there, and the way I live my life is valid and not weird at all. Did you discover something in this language and set of words to describe your lived experiences that resonates? Are you bi curious and het romantic? Or maybe you’re into exploring cock sucking without any of the trappings of romance, too! Leave a comment here and let me know if you’ve found a new way to describe your life.
Want Some Help Exploring?
You can always drop me a line by email (harper@enchantrixempire.com) or call me up! I’m happy to talk about the split attraction model, and to reassure you that you’re normal and not a weirdo for wanting to suck a cock with no strings attached. Bring your bi curious desires to me and we’ll explore them together!
click here to listen to Ms. Harper
Your Sex Education Mistress, Harper
For an erotic phone sex session, dial 800-601-6975.
Must be 18+
Calls are $ per minute, with a 10 minute minimum
Discreetly billed to your credit card
Rate Your Call
Check out our new social network, Enchantrix Empire.
I love this. Sexuality and attraction aren’t a monolith. I love that you highlight the complexity of this and that they evolve over time as we evolve.
Our understanding of sexuality and identitiy are constantly evolving and growing! It’s so great to see that we have so many more ways to talk about ourselves, and to understand who and what we are.
Yummeh!
I was personally glad to see when the term MsM started being bandied about. For the uninitiated, that stands for “men who have sex with men”. And as Mistress Harper so eloquently lays out for you, you’ll notice that the term doesn’t make any claims about sexual orientation. Because you don’t have to identify as gay or even bi just because you like a little cock now and then!
Yes! I have a friend who did their PhD on MsM! Men Seeking Men, and back when she did her work on it, it was a brand new idea and field of research. Nowadays, it’s much more well known and accepted.
I am a heterosexual man who has pleasured men for the humiliation. I am also a romantic who is devoted to my wife. This article reinforced that for me. Thank you.
A perfect example of the Split Attraction Model in real life! What you do sexually doesn’t neccessarily have to line up with what you want romantically. I’m glad the post was helpful for you, tigervoice.
Totally on point with sexuality evolving as we age. There’s a confidence and wisdom that comes with years. In my twenties, I would never consider admitting a desire to hook up with a guy. Now, it’s perfectly normal. I’m bi, het romantic. Fits in well with being a sissy.
We definitely gain more confidence and surety in ourselves as we age, and the ability to just own what we want! No shame, no shuffling your feet in embarrassment, just ‘this is me, and here’s what works for me.’
Hi Harper,
I’d like to share my own fantasy evolution in this respect. Can you possiblt tag Princess Andi? I do not know how to do that from a comment.
When I first started exploring my sexually submissive side, cock-sucking wasn’t part of it. Blowing a strapon was, but in my mind, I would be blowing her strapon the way I fantasized about being sucked off myself, so it was part of the femdom heterosexuial erotic tease.
I was discussing this on a call with Andi, mentioning that I was kind of a hypocritical heterosexual because I loved masturbating to lesbian women “gettin’ jiggy with it” and she replied that she totally understood, and how much she got off on watching guys suck each other’s cocks, and not just because she told them to but because they wanted to.
It did not sound to me like she was roleplaying for the sake of the call, it sounded to me like she was genuinely opening up about something that turned her on.
Regardless (irregardless? I don’t know, fuck English grammar) of roleplay or her genuinely opening up, it totally mind-fucked me. It was a way I could genuinely turn her on, but even moreso if I did it because I wanted to, but how could I bring myself to want to?
My mind started going towards fantasies of Andi psychologically conditioning me to. Mind you this is all fantasy I came up with myself after that mind-fuck.
She would keep me in chastity, command me to suck a dildo with a suction cup, and tease my balls with her fingers for erotic stimulus while doing it. Every few days, she would milk me by having me get up on all fours onto a cold stainless steel examimation table, blind-fold me, and use a toy to massage my prostrate causing me to cum in a completely non-erotic way with the cage still on—completely denying me of even the pleasure of a wet dream nocturnal emission.
I would beg her to get out of chastity but she only would do that if I agreed to suck a real cock. After doing so, she still didn’t let me out because when she teased my balls while I sucked a real cock, she could tell I wasn’t trying to get hard in the cage. The desire to at least be allowed to get hard became so strong that I started to swell against the cage when sucking a cock while she teased my balls.
She kept her word but the cage only came off during the milking and then she would ruin the orgasm. To have a real orgasm, I’d have to beg random guys she invited over to `allow me to suck their cock’ convingly.
And in the fantasy, something I didn’t plan but the fantasy took its own path, her conditioning training worked so well that I ended up only able to get hard when I had a cock in mouth.
When I realized I was getting hard during these fantasies, specifically to the thought of begging to suck some random guy’s cock to please Andi, I realized that mind-fuck of hers on me had freed my mind from an artificial taboo society had put on me.
I still don’t fantasize about sucking cock for the sake of sucking cock, but I must confess, I do confess about fantasize about sucking cock because it happens to be between the legs of a T-Girl like Babe with a Boner (Princess Bethany) or because I know someone like Princess Andi will get wet watching it. And not because I was told to, but because I want to, and I want her to see that I’m fucking good at it.
The results of a good subtle mindfuck are permanent.
Anymouse, I have really enjoyed what you had to say regarding our call. I really do love watching two men. So, very exciting. I do love chastity and keeping you locked up is always fun. Concerning the grammar, English is a fickle bitch. LOL. You know how I struggle with grammar too.
Harper, Great blog post. I love that you talk about the Split Attraction Model. Love your blog so educational, sexy and fun. The best combination.
Thank you so much for your enlightening article Ms. Harper. So great to hear about the different combos of sexual and romantic attractions! Yay variety. Makes me feel better about my own very very different views of sexuality (for those curious I am demi-sexual, that is I need an emotional connection before, well you know)